Programme – Old Time Music Hall

NAPIER OPERATIC SOCIETY Inc.
PROUDLY PRESENTS

in its Tabard Theatre

Under the Direction of that noted Entrepreneur
MISS GILLIAN DAVIES
Theatrical Agent for Artists of Quality. Terpsichorial
Interpretations by Miss Karen Shand.

Master of the Massed Pianoforte Mr Eric Thorpe

THE SPLENDIFEROUS

SONG SHEET & BILLING FOR

OLD TIME
MUSIC HALL

CHAIRMAN AND HOST PAUL GROSVENOR WARING Esq.

LADIES OF THE RESIDENT CHORUS
MISS GERALDINE WILSON   MISS EILEEN MURPHY
MISS ELIZABETH GRANEY   MISS ANN LOTHIAN
MISS ANNE MOORE   MISS LYNETTE FERGUSON
MISS ANN CLIFFORD   MISS JULIET MARSDEN
MISS KAREN SHAND   MISS ANDREA BOYD
MISS KERRY PLESTED   MISS CAREN JOHNSON
MISS LUCILLE FLEMING   MISS MARIE BISHOP
MISS LANA SHADBOLT

GENTLEMEN OF THE RESIDENT CHORUS
MR ERNEST STUART   MR ROY HEAD
MR DAVID BALFOUR   MR ALAN HOWES
MR JOHN WILLIAMS   MR MARK BAKER
MR WILLIAM DUKES   MR ROBERT HICKEY
MR ROY CLEMENT   MR IAN JOHNSON
MR GRAEME DUNNETT   MR DOUGLAS PETERS
MR ROBIN BLACK

INTRODUCING
the youthful MISS ORLENA WILTON and MASTER CRAIG McKAY, MASTER IAN REID & MISS DALE REID, and the MISSES SARAH, JANINE, ANNA, & HALEY REIDS, the MISSES SUZANNE & PHILIPPA JONES, MISS DIANA SHAND and the MASTERS ANDREW and KENDALL BROWNE, Tutored in Terpsichory by MADAME LEIGH JONES

VISITING ARTISTES
ROBERT HOUSTON Esq. (Internationally Famed Heroic Bass Baritone)
MADAME DAWN UNSWORTH (World renowned Coloraturic Artiste)
with
MR WAYNE LISTER   MR ROY HOLDERNESS
MADAME GUISEPPA BARTLE   MADAME AUDREY LONDON
MADAME VALERIE SHAW   MISS MOYRA BEWLEY

PROPRIETORS OF “THE CANTERBURY ARMS”
MR MICHAEL FORBES-STIMPSON
MADAME NORMA SHERER

YOUR CHARMING WAITRESSES
MISS KAREN BRIGGS   MISS ELIZABETH ALEXANDER
MISS AMANDA HOLLAND   MISS ANN THEW
MISS MARIE MATHEWS   MISS LOIS ROGERS
MISS JACQUELINE TURNER   MISS SUE LONDON
MISS JOY RHODES   MISS RHONDA BEWLEY
MISS JILL SWEENEY

The management reserve the right to dismiss any artiste for misdemeanors [misdemeanours] and indiscretions pertaining to the performance of the above mentioned.

UNSEEN PERSONNEL

STAGE MANAGER SUPREME
Donald Hurley

FACADE & ACT DROP DESIGN & ARTISTE SUPREME
our guest MADAME PADDY SMITH assisted by Boyd Taylor & Gavin Long.

ASSISTANT STAGE MANAGER
Boyd Taylor

SET ETC & GASLIGHT DESIGNER
Gwyn Ace

MECHANIST
Alan Jones

SET & STAGE PREPARATION & CREW
Bob Drinkwater, Alan Sanders, Simon Jones, David Totty, Reg Whitlock, Graeme Flett, John Briggs, Neil Page, Craig Wallace, Steven Harris, Gregory McAllister

MISTRESSES OF THE WARDROBE
Madames Lois Reefman and Sue Elmore with help from Jean Allen, Margaret Baker, Jenny Cotterill, Pat Fleming, Karen Shand, Anne Moore, June Kauter, Lisa Page, Nicky Alexander

MISTRESSES OF PROPERTIES
Lynda Stevens, Jennie Stewart, Barbara Brown, Judy Buttery, Bronwyn Read, Penelope Warner, Mary Lowther, Ian Reid

MISTRESSES OF POWDER AND PAINT
Dawn McCowatt, Minnie Wright and their willing helpers

HEAD FLYMAN
Vern Crabtree

GASLIGHT OPERATORS
Peter Eade, Robin Johnson, Neil Page, Carl Winter, Robert Lockyer

DIRECTORS ASSISTANT
Marie Northe

REHEARSAL PIANISTS
Eric Thorpe & Digby Edgecombe additional Rehearsals

MUSIC ENSEMBLE
Eric Thorpe, Leon Speakman, Peter Cutts

COOKS & BOTTLEWASHERS
Madame Lyndsay Browne and her many willing helpers

SUPPER & TEAS
Maureen Northe

THE SOCIETY’S GRATEFUL THANKS GO TO
The Flower Barrow, Raphael Furnishing Studios, Kevin Percy Ltd, Grandma’s Attic, Nostalgia, DIC, Heaven’s Bakery Ltd, Public Library, Hobsons Chemist Ltd, Allan Styles, DB Onekawa, Group Theatre, Havelock North Gilbert and Sullivan Group.

MEMBERSHIP
Subscribing Members:   If you are not already a member of our Society and would like to become one, 1982 subscriptions of $10.00-per household are now being received at Box 756, Napier. This will entitle you to preferential bookings, opening night complimentaries (if available) and to be on our mailing list.
Active Members:   We always need active members, both on stage and backstage.  Phone 54334 if you are interested in joining us in some capacity.

OFFICERS OF THE SOCIETY

PRESIDENT
Bill Beckett
VICE PRESIDENT
Don Hurley
CHAIRMAN OF COMMITTEE
Barrie Browne
IMMEDIATE PAST PRESIDENT
Bunny Unsworth
PATRON OF THE SOCIETY
Ted Collier
HON. SOLICITOR
John Matthews
HON. AUDITOR
Les Robertson
COMMITTEE
Ros Van de Ven, Lois Reefman, Alan Jones, Robin Johnson, Bill Shirras, Peter Shepherd, Alan Howes, John Collier, Doug Ramsay, Clive Buttery
SECRETARY/TREASURER
Fred Twyford

THE ENTIRE & EXTENSIVE
PROGRAMME OF ENTERTAINMENT
FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT AND EDIFICATION

CHAIRMANS INTRODUCTION

1.   OPENING RESIDENT CHORUS AND ENSEMBLE “Lets all go to the Music Hall”
2.   Mr DAVID BALFOUR Cockney Charmer & Comic of Considerable Consequence   “The Gorgonzola Cheese”
introducing
3.   MADAME VALERIE SHAW with MISS ANNE MOORE & Youthful Ensemble   “Don’t Have Any More, Missus Moore”
4.   Mr WAYNE LISTER Internationally Renowned Tenor   “Beneath Your Window”
5.   Miss KAREN SHAND Our Continental Coquette   “Twiggy Voo”
6.   RESIDENT CHORUS with Mr ERNEST STUART MISS KERRY PLESTED   Nautical Scena
7.   MADAME GUISEPPA BARTLE Poignant Pathos Personified   “Are We To Part Like this Bill”
8.   Mr GRAEME DUNNETT Mr ERNEST STUART Mr JOHN WILLIAMS   “A Triple Treat of Transveslitic Transmogrification.”
9.   Miss ANNE CLIFFORD Songstress Supreme   “When I Leave the World Behind”
10.   The CANTERBURY PLAYERS Famed Dramatic Interlude.   “Sweeney Todd” or “The Demon Barber of Fleet Street”
with
Mr DAVID BALFOUR
Miss ELIZABETH GRANEY
with Mr Robert Hickey, Miss Kerry Plested, Mr William Dukes & the young Craig McKay.

– INTERVAL –

12.   The CHAIRMANS LOYAL TOAST   Loyal Toast
13.   RESIDENT CHORUS & ENSEMBLE   Railway Scena
the sensitive & sympathetic
14.   Miss ANNE MOORE with John Williams   “Will You Love Me When I’m Mutton”
15.   ROBERT HOUSTON Esq   Internationally Famed Heroic Bass Baritone   “Your Mine”
or Madame DAWN UNSWORTH  World Renowned Coloraturic Artiste   “The Song That Reached My Heart”
Acclaimed Actor & Sophisticate Supreme
16.   Mr ROY HOLDERNESS with Miss Lynette Ferguson, Miss Gerry Wilson, Miss Elizabeth Graney   Music Hall Shakespeare
The Saucy & Charming
17.   Miss EILEEN MURPHY   “You’ve Got A Long Way To Go”
Presenting
18.   Miss KAREN SHAND and Mr ALAN HOWES   “Living Statuary”
The Fashionable & Feminine
19.   Miss MOIRA BEWLEY   “Morning Promenade”
Songstress of Delicacy & Delight
20.   Miss LUCILLE FLEMING with Miss Kerry Plested Miss Lynette Ferguson, Mr Mark Baker, Mr Roy Head   “Father, Dear Father, Come Home”
Tragedienne Tremendous
21.   Madame AUDREY LONDON   The Great Big Saw Came Nearer and Nearer
22.   An Introduction for
The CANTERBURY ARMS
Starring
Mr Roy Holderness, Mr John Williams, Miss Geraldine Wilson, Miss Elizabeth Graney
The Seriocomic Classic   “The Master & The Maid”
23.   PAUL GROSVENOR WARING Esq
Internationally Acclaimed Opera Star   “Love, Can I Only Tell Thee”
24.   RESIDENT CHORUS & ENSEMBLE   Cockney Scena and Sing-a-long
THE END

1   LETS ALL GO TO THE MUSIC HALL
Lets all go to the Music Hall
Where the stars are always gay and bright.
Lets all go to the Music Hall,
Where the stars are twinkling every night!
Whether you’re in the gallery,
The front stalls, or the pit!
Whether you’re in the red plush stall!
When the day is nearly done,
And you’re wanting lots of fun,
Lets all go to the Music Hall!

2   GORGONZOLA CHEESE
Oh! That Gorgonzola cheese!
Must have been unhealthy I suppose.
For the old tom cat fell a corpse upon the mat,
When the ‘Niff’ got up its nose;
Talk about the flavour of the crackling on the pork,
Nothing could have been so strong,
As the beautiful effluvia that filled our house,
When the Gorgonzola cheese went wrong.

3   DON’T HAVE ANY MORE, MISSUS MOORE
Don’t have any more Missus Moore,
Missus Moore please don’t have any more.
The more you have the more you want they say,
But enough is as good as a feast any day.

5   TWIGGY VOO
Twiggy voo, my boys,
Twiggy voo?
Well, of course, it stands to reason
That you do.
All the force and meaning in it,
You can tumble in a minute,
Twiggy voo, my boys, Twiggy Voo!

NAUTICAL SCENA

6   ALL THE NICE GIRLS LOVE A SAILOR
All the nice girls love a sailor,
All the nice girls love a tar;
For there’s something about a sailor –
For you know what sailors are.
Bright and breezy, free and easy,
They’re the Ladies pride and joy.
For they love a Kate or Jane,
Then its off to sea again,
Ship ahoy Sailor Boy.

WE PARTED ON THE SHORE
So we parted on the shore
Yes, we parted on the shore –
He said “Goodbye, to me,
I’m off to Baltimore –
Then he kissed me on the ship
And the crew began to roar –
“Heeley ho!” “Heeley ho”
And we parted on the shore.

WHO KEEPS HOUSE FOR THE LIGHTHOUSE KEEPER?
Who keeps house for the Lighthouse keeper,
When the Lighthouse keeper’s daughters
Doing light house keeping?
Gee-oh-Gosh-oh-Gee
That’s what worries me!
I know that the Lighthouse keeper must take care,
And while he’s taking care, she’s alone somewhere!
But who takes care of the Lighthouse keeper’s daughter
While the Lighthouse Keeper’s busy taking care?

BY THE SEA
By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea
You and I, you and I, Oh! How happy we’ll be –
When each wave comes rolling in
We will duck or swim,
And we’ll float and fool around the water
Over and under and then up for air,
Pa is rich, Ma is rich, so now what do we care!
I love to be beside, your side, beside the sea
Beside the seaside, – by the beautiful sea!

IF ITS A LADY, THUMBS UP!
If its a lady thumbs up
If its a lady thumbs up.
Don’t start kicking up a row
Kicking up a row – just say Wow! Wow!
If its a lady, all right
Everything is sure to be sublime
If she whispers in your ear –
“Hold me tight Georgie dear”
Thumbs up! Everytime!

WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THE DRUNKEN SAILOR?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
What shall we do with the drunken sailor?
Early in the morning.
Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,
Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,
Put him in a long boat till he’s sober,
Early in the morning.
Way hey and up she rises,
Way hey and up she rises,
Way hey and up she rises,
Early in the morning.

LET HIM GO LET HIM TARRY
Let him go, let him tarry
Let him sink or let him swim,
He doesn’t care for me
Nor I don’t care for him,
He can go and get another
That I hope he will enjoy,
For I’m going to marry
A far nicer boy!

7   ARE WE TO PART LIKE THIS BILL?
Are we to part like this, Bill,
Are we to part this way?
Who’s it to be, ’er or me!
Don’t be afraid to say;
If everythings over between us,
Don’t never pass me by,
‘Cos you and me still friends can be,
For the sake of the days gone by.

8   COME JOSEPHINE
Come Josephine, in my flying machine,
Going up, she goes, up she goes.
Balance yourself like a bird on a beam
In the air she goes, there she goes!
Up, up, a little bit higher.
Oh my! the moon is on fire.
Come Josephine in my flying machine,
Going up, all on, Goodbye.

FLYING TRAPEZE
He’d fly through the air
With the greatest of ease,
The daring young man
On the flying trapeze.
His movements were graceful
All girls he could please,
And my love he’s stolen away.

UP IN A BALLOON
Up in a balloon, up in a balloon,
All among the little stars sailing round the moon.
Up in a balloon, up in a balloon,
It’s something awful jolly to be up in a balloon.

9   WHEN I LEAVE THE WORLD BEHIND
I’ll leave the sunshine to the flowers,
I’ll leave the Springtime to the trees;
And to the old folks I’ll leave the memories
Of a baby upon their knees.
I’ll leave the night-time to the dreamers,
I’ll leave the songbirds to the blind
I’ll leave the moon above to those in love
When I leave the World behind.

RAILWAY SCENA

14   WILL YOU LOVE ME WHEN I AM MUTTON?
Will you love me when I am Mutton,
As you do now I am Lamb!
Ba! Ba! Black sheep tell me do – tell me do?
Will you love me when I’m Mutton,
Like a true and faithful Ram,
Or, will you tell me
I’m too tough to chew!

17   YOU’VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO
You’ve got a long way to go,
You’ve got a long way to go
Its no use banging your blooming drum
And shouting “Sinners, oh, will you come!’
I like to hear you say “‘you’re going to glory, Flo!”
If you’re only as far as Piccadilly,
You’ve got a long way to go!

19   MORNING PROMENADE
When I take my morning promenade,
Quite a fashion card, on the promenade.
Oh I don’t mind nice boys staring hard
If it satisfies their desire.
Do you think my dress is a little bit,
Just a little bit – not too much of it,
Though it shows my shape just a little bit
Thats the little bit the boys admire.

COCKNEY SCENA

24   KNEES UP MOTHER BROWN
Knees up Mother Brown! Knees up Mather Brown!
Come along dearie let it go!
EE-I-EE-I-EE-I-OH!
It’s yer blooming birthday
Let’s wake up all the town!
So, knees up, knees up!
Don’t get the breeze up,
Knees up Mother Brown.

HELLO HELLO WHO’S YOUR LADY FRIEND
Hello, Hello who’s your lady friend,
Who’s the little girlie by your side!
I’ve seen you with a girl or two!
Oh-Oh-Oh-I am surprised at you!
Hello, Hello, stop your little games!
Don’t you think your ways you ought to mend?
It isn’t the girl I saw you with at Brighton!
Who, Who, Who’s your lady friend.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT HAT?
Where did you get that hat?
Where did you get that tile?
Isn’t it a nobby one and just the proper style?
I should like to have one just the same as that!
Where’er I go they shout Hello! Where did you get that hat?

I LIKE PICKLED ONIONS
I like picked onions,
I like Piccalilli
Pickled cabbage is alright
With a bit of cold meat on a Sunday night.
I can go tomatoes,
But what I do prefer
Is a little bit of Cucum-i-cum-u-cum
A little bit of Cucumber.

I’M FOLLOWING IN FATHER’S FOOTSTEPS
“I’m following in Father’s footsteps,
I’m following the dear old dad.
He’s just in front with a fine big gal,
So I thought I’d have one as well.
I don’t know where he’s going,
But when he gets there I’ll be glad!
I’m following in Father’s footsteps,
Yes I’m following the Dear Old Dad!”

BARROW BOY
All my life I’ve wanted to be a Barrow Boy
A Barrow Boy I’ve always wanted to be.
I gets me livin I stick to it with pride
I’m a Coster, a Coster from over the Lambeth side.
I turn my back upon the high society
Take me where the ripe bananas grow
They’re only a dozen a shilling
Thats how I gets my living
I ought to have been a Barrow Boy years ago.

HOLD YOUR HAND OUT YOU NAUGHTY BOY!
Hold your hand out, you naughty boy!
Hold your hand out, you naughty boy!
Last night in the pale moonlight,
I saw yer! I saw yer!
With a nice girl in the park,
You were strolling full of joy,
And you told her you’d never kissed a girl before,
Hold your hand out, you Naughty Boy.

IF YOU FANCY IT
I always hold in having it if you fancy it,
If you fancy it – that’s understood!
And suppose it makes you fat,
I don’t worry over that!
’Cos, a little of what you fancy, does you good!

MY OLD MAN SAID FOLLOW THE VAN
My old man said, follow the van,
Don’t dilly dally on the way!
Off went the cart with the home packed in it,
I walked behind with my old cock Linnet,
But I dillied and dallied, dallied and dillied,
Lost the van and don’t know where to roam.
I stopped on the way to have the old half quartern,
And I can’t find my way home.

ANY OLD IRON
Any old iron, any old iron,
Any, any, old, old iron?
You look neat, talk about a treat,
You look dapper from your napper to your feet.
Dress’d in style, brand new tile,
And your father’s old green tie on,
But I wouldn’t give you tuppence for your old watch chain,
Old iron, old iron!

WHAT A MOUTH
What a mouth! What a mouth! What a North and South!
Blimey what a mouth he’s got!
When he was a youngster, Oh! Lord Lovell,
Why, his poor old mother used to feed him with a shovel.
What a gap! Poor chap! He’s never been known to laugh,
For if he did it’s a penny to a quid,
That his face’d fall in half

WORK SONG
On Monday I never go to work,
On Tuesday I stay at home,
On Wednesday I don’t feel inclined,
Work’s the last thing on my mind.
Thursday, half holiday,
And Friday I detest,
Too late to make a start on Saturday,
And Sunday is my day of rest.

THE OLD KENT ROAD
“Wot cher!” All the neighbours cried,
Who’re yer goin to meet, Bill?
Have yer brought the street, Bill?
Laugh! I thought I should ’ave died
Knock’d ’em in the Old Kent Road!